It’s spring! Pavasaris! La Primavera! Весна!
Wonderful, wonderful spring is finally here! And with what beautiful weather we are treated! It’s been sunny and warm all week long; no clouds whatsoever. People smile more. I love my life this week.
Also, last Sunday was the dreadful doom-day of clock turning. Now we’ve got up an hour earlier (those who know me should understand that this is by no means easy) but (and it really makes it all better) we get to enjoy daylight for an hour longer. Which is indescribably fine. And I get to celebrate two birthdays this weekend.
I feel like jumping up and down of sheer joy!
Music of moment: Blur ‘Song 2’
P.S. A friend of mine dragged me to watch this chick-flick ‘Music and Lyrics’. I was thoroughly disappointed. How dumb can a movie get? I now plan to go watch ‘Miss Potter’ to - hopefully - restore my faith in good cinema.
Friday, 30 March 2007
Monday, 12 March 2007
It's my pity party; I'll whine if I want to, I'll whine if I want to...
Oh god, I feel so dense today.
My brain is covered in a mist of sleep I lack. Everything is fuzzy and coated in light dust that forms subtle shapes and diminishes sounds. I should be home sleeping yet here I am – sitting at my desk and pretending to actually do some work. No luck with that so far. That is, no luck with the doing. I’m getting quite good at pretending.
Reason? Why, a book, of course. Yes, I know I should expect the consequences if I read till 4am when I’m supposed to get up at 7am the next morning. Still. It’s not entirely my fault if they write so exciting books nowadays, now is it? I just couldn’t bring myself to put it down.
I’m not making much sense today. Visions of soft beds and warm blankets efficiently prevent me from that. Even double bull’s dose of coffee didn’t help. Eep. I wanna go home.
My brain is covered in a mist of sleep I lack. Everything is fuzzy and coated in light dust that forms subtle shapes and diminishes sounds. I should be home sleeping yet here I am – sitting at my desk and pretending to actually do some work. No luck with that so far. That is, no luck with the doing. I’m getting quite good at pretending.
Reason? Why, a book, of course. Yes, I know I should expect the consequences if I read till 4am when I’m supposed to get up at 7am the next morning. Still. It’s not entirely my fault if they write so exciting books nowadays, now is it? I just couldn’t bring myself to put it down.
I’m not making much sense today. Visions of soft beds and warm blankets efficiently prevent me from that. Even double bull’s dose of coffee didn’t help. Eep. I wanna go home.
Friday, 9 March 2007
Philisophical stuff
So I had this discussion with a friend of mine. We talked life, death, ways of living. Tough stuff like that. What we want to do with our lives. What we dream of. What we know. What we should learn. Where to go, which road to take. Yeah, I thought it was a bit much, myself.
Anyway.
She has all the motivation for just about every task thrown at her. Whatever it would be – from self-teaching English to dance lessons to biology – name it, and she’ll figure out a way to motivate herself and do it with all her heart and determination. She will conquer and win. It’s just the way she is.
Thing is, she does all those things, but has no idea how they work in the greater picture, how they connect with the ultimate goals or, say, missions of her life. She even doesn‘t know what are her ultimate goals in life yet. She just goes with the flow and picks up everything on her way until she stumbles on the big answer. If she ever does. One can hope. Meanwhile, she relishes in action and rapid movement around her that she stirs.
I, on the other hand, with every passing day gain more sureness regarding my goal in life, my reason for living this life here and know. Doesn’t matter what it is; I know it, and that’s enough. Sadly, since that goal is quite sedated and does not require world domination as the result, I often go lazy. I have no hurry whatsoever. I know where I go and what I need to do. It’s a peaceful existence. Downside: it does not require additional small goals along the way. I can do my big thing, and stuff like learning snowboard or hitchhiking to Spain sorta gets forgotten. I don’t have to invent goals for I have it already. The rest I choose and do because it brings me pleasure. I learned English and studied history because it was fun and I enjoyed it. I experiment with cooking because it excites me, not to broaden my horizon and conquer new mark of development. There’s a difference.
And then I think – am I making it up? Am I fooling myself? Have I simplified my existence by inventing an ultimate goal that serves as a buffer between me and the real life? What if real life actually means just that – getting as many little things done the best you can? Am I unconsciously trapping me in a cage of obscure grandeur to avoid the living? I might be, and it worries me quite a bit. No one is foolproof. And the main goal with sabbatical from real life as one of the key components does sound kinda shady. Maybe it’s just a stage and I’ll snap out of it. If I ever do. One can hope.
Meanwhile, we both have some things about ourselves quite clear. And some we totally don’t have. And they are not matching but complimenting the other perfectly. If we were merged into one person, this human would be in total clarity as what to do next and why. This person would be happy and complete, and determinate, unstoppable force.
In reality, we both just sorta float along the way and pass our time the best we can. For better or worse. We often are confused, and not sure about ourselves. We concluded on the note that we will find out if we did right or not eventually. If not in this life, then after it ends; when the soul leaves this plain and – in theory – regains all memories and experiences of lives spent. I wish us luck.
P.S. It's my Mother's birthday today. Happy Birthday, Mom!
Anyway.
She has all the motivation for just about every task thrown at her. Whatever it would be – from self-teaching English to dance lessons to biology – name it, and she’ll figure out a way to motivate herself and do it with all her heart and determination. She will conquer and win. It’s just the way she is.
Thing is, she does all those things, but has no idea how they work in the greater picture, how they connect with the ultimate goals or, say, missions of her life. She even doesn‘t know what are her ultimate goals in life yet. She just goes with the flow and picks up everything on her way until she stumbles on the big answer. If she ever does. One can hope. Meanwhile, she relishes in action and rapid movement around her that she stirs.
I, on the other hand, with every passing day gain more sureness regarding my goal in life, my reason for living this life here and know. Doesn’t matter what it is; I know it, and that’s enough. Sadly, since that goal is quite sedated and does not require world domination as the result, I often go lazy. I have no hurry whatsoever. I know where I go and what I need to do. It’s a peaceful existence. Downside: it does not require additional small goals along the way. I can do my big thing, and stuff like learning snowboard or hitchhiking to Spain sorta gets forgotten. I don’t have to invent goals for I have it already. The rest I choose and do because it brings me pleasure. I learned English and studied history because it was fun and I enjoyed it. I experiment with cooking because it excites me, not to broaden my horizon and conquer new mark of development. There’s a difference.
And then I think – am I making it up? Am I fooling myself? Have I simplified my existence by inventing an ultimate goal that serves as a buffer between me and the real life? What if real life actually means just that – getting as many little things done the best you can? Am I unconsciously trapping me in a cage of obscure grandeur to avoid the living? I might be, and it worries me quite a bit. No one is foolproof. And the main goal with sabbatical from real life as one of the key components does sound kinda shady. Maybe it’s just a stage and I’ll snap out of it. If I ever do. One can hope.
Meanwhile, we both have some things about ourselves quite clear. And some we totally don’t have. And they are not matching but complimenting the other perfectly. If we were merged into one person, this human would be in total clarity as what to do next and why. This person would be happy and complete, and determinate, unstoppable force.
In reality, we both just sorta float along the way and pass our time the best we can. For better or worse. We often are confused, and not sure about ourselves. We concluded on the note that we will find out if we did right or not eventually. If not in this life, then after it ends; when the soul leaves this plain and – in theory – regains all memories and experiences of lives spent. I wish us luck.
P.S. It's my Mother's birthday today. Happy Birthday, Mom!
Friday, 16 February 2007
Tuesday, 13 February 2007
Surprises galore
Surprises are supposedly good things. Or so I’ve heard. Not so much if you ask me.
I looked closely in the calendar today and was stunned to discover that it is already half-February. When? Why? Where January went?! I mean, it was New Year just a week ago, wasn’t it?
Ah, well. They say time flows faster with age. Guess it must be true. It also means I’m getting older. Or – there could be something wrong with the time-flow. I think I prefer the last.
More surprises – last Wednesday early in the morning I had the most pleasant dream about tropical forests, orchids, butterflies and rainbow-adorned rainfalls. I woke up and groggily realized that I can, indeed, hear rain.
Good, I thought to myself, that irksome, cold snow is finally melting away.
Go spring, I also thought.
Then I looked out the window and discovered my mistake – it was actually snowing.
So what about the rain, you might ask. So did I on my way to kitchen.
I opened the door, and mystery in the form of exploded hot-water boiler revealed itself. Very nervous cat bolted out of the disaster area, leaving me to deal with the current failure of benefits of civilization.
The boiler had lost its top cover in the blow, and, since nothing was keeping it confined now, water was merrily leaking on the floor – to a great joy of my down-stair neighbours. Despite apparent malfunction, the poor thing didn’t want to admit defeat – it was still trying to warm some water on its cheerful way downstairs. Must approve the diligence of modern technologies.
Best part, IMO, was reaction of some pro people I called in my perplexity. See, two different people who work with such things as boilers and drainage systems both told me that a boiler simply can not explode the way it did – given the circumstances. Story of my life. Someone tells me a thing cannot possibly happen, and you might as well place a bet that it will happen. To me. It’s fun, actually, but quite exhausting from time to time.
Well, end is good, all is good. The guaranty people after much talking from their part and lots eyelash batting from mine, gave me a brand new boiler. Small downside – it’s exactly the same as the old one. One can hope they are not prone to explosions as a brand.
In conclusion I’d like to point out once again – I do not like this particular kind of surprises. Please, take notice and kindly stop sending them to me if you, dear reader, happen to be a soft hearted and good willed deity from up there.
End report.
I looked closely in the calendar today and was stunned to discover that it is already half-February. When? Why? Where January went?! I mean, it was New Year just a week ago, wasn’t it?
Ah, well. They say time flows faster with age. Guess it must be true. It also means I’m getting older. Or – there could be something wrong with the time-flow. I think I prefer the last.
More surprises – last Wednesday early in the morning I had the most pleasant dream about tropical forests, orchids, butterflies and rainbow-adorned rainfalls. I woke up and groggily realized that I can, indeed, hear rain.
Good, I thought to myself, that irksome, cold snow is finally melting away.
Go spring, I also thought.
Then I looked out the window and discovered my mistake – it was actually snowing.
So what about the rain, you might ask. So did I on my way to kitchen.
I opened the door, and mystery in the form of exploded hot-water boiler revealed itself. Very nervous cat bolted out of the disaster area, leaving me to deal with the current failure of benefits of civilization.
The boiler had lost its top cover in the blow, and, since nothing was keeping it confined now, water was merrily leaking on the floor – to a great joy of my down-stair neighbours. Despite apparent malfunction, the poor thing didn’t want to admit defeat – it was still trying to warm some water on its cheerful way downstairs. Must approve the diligence of modern technologies.
Best part, IMO, was reaction of some pro people I called in my perplexity. See, two different people who work with such things as boilers and drainage systems both told me that a boiler simply can not explode the way it did – given the circumstances. Story of my life. Someone tells me a thing cannot possibly happen, and you might as well place a bet that it will happen. To me. It’s fun, actually, but quite exhausting from time to time.
Well, end is good, all is good. The guaranty people after much talking from their part and lots eyelash batting from mine, gave me a brand new boiler. Small downside – it’s exactly the same as the old one. One can hope they are not prone to explosions as a brand.
In conclusion I’d like to point out once again – I do not like this particular kind of surprises. Please, take notice and kindly stop sending them to me if you, dear reader, happen to be a soft hearted and good willed deity from up there.
End report.
Tuesday, 24 October 2006
Sleep rant
They say the truth about a person can be seen in their eyes. It should also mean that you can see the truth about yourself while looking in the mirror. Well, what I saw this morning made me pretty nervous. Tired, sleepy, pale person with no spark in her eyes looked at me solemnly. Insomnia muchly sucks, all the more when you can’t figure out why you’ve got it in the first place.
I’m tired of tossing and turning until 4am, and then having unpleasant dreams for the remaining 3 hours of sleep, and I hate not being able to drag myself out of the bed on time for the work. I hope it’s just the stress but if it doesn’t end in a couple of days I’ll start to suspect there’s something wrong with me.
Life sucks right now.
I’m tired of tossing and turning until 4am, and then having unpleasant dreams for the remaining 3 hours of sleep, and I hate not being able to drag myself out of the bed on time for the work. I hope it’s just the stress but if it doesn’t end in a couple of days I’ll start to suspect there’s something wrong with me.
Life sucks right now.
Tuesday, 17 October 2006
The woe your name is footware
So, yeah, I'm looking for new shoes. Tough luck so far. Suspect sudden infectious stupidity epidemy among shoe designers. Never thought footwear could look as ridiculous as this season.
*********************
On other topics - summer's over. [In case you did not notice or are from other side of the Earth.] It's sad. Still can leave house without a hat but have a feeling it will come to end any day soon. And then it'll be long, dark, cold winter. Hate winter.
I've figured out a perfect way for the change of seasons in my mind. There should be average 24/7 temperature of +25 from the middle of May until the end of October. And it should rain 3 times a week at nights. Then temperature should dramatically drop to average +18 until the third week of December. Then - wham! - it's suddenly average -3 and it's snowing until the New Year's Eve with a few backdrops in the first week of January. It stops snowing altogether on the second week of January. And then it goes back to spring, everything starts blooming and growing, and it's +18 again. And life's good. I think it's a reasonable solution. Too bad nobody up there gave any consideration to my ingenious idea.
Anyone knows how I can contact them?
*********************
On other topics - summer's over. [In case you did not notice or are from other side of the Earth.] It's sad. Still can leave house without a hat but have a feeling it will come to end any day soon. And then it'll be long, dark, cold winter. Hate winter.
I've figured out a perfect way for the change of seasons in my mind. There should be average 24/7 temperature of +25 from the middle of May until the end of October. And it should rain 3 times a week at nights. Then temperature should dramatically drop to average +18 until the third week of December. Then - wham! - it's suddenly average -3 and it's snowing until the New Year's Eve with a few backdrops in the first week of January. It stops snowing altogether on the second week of January. And then it goes back to spring, everything starts blooming and growing, and it's +18 again. And life's good. I think it's a reasonable solution. Too bad nobody up there gave any consideration to my ingenious idea.
Anyone knows how I can contact them?
Friday, 23 June 2006
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